You need to be honest with yourself, and since you are reading this piece you obviously know you have the same problem that many girls have dealt with. And it’s okay! There are so many women who are or have dealt with what you’re dealing with. They have the same thoughts about how they could be so stupid. Or why they keep attracting stupid boys, who keep wasting their time.
The thing is though, you can stop this.
Yea it sucks that you attract these kinds of guys, but it’s not because something is wrong with you! It’s because you are an amazing woman whose passion is helping others. You are someone who always tries to put others first, and with that comes people who want to take advantage.
But you shouldn’t feel ashamed of that at all. Because to be honest, those are the men that have so much potential to do something with their lives. And we all know, no one has ever really given them the chance to prove they can be something…
But… A relationship shouldn’t be about trying to fix someone. It shouldn’t be you thinking that your love will save them. That your love will somehow make them want to commit to you or that it will make them want to change.
A relationship is all about two people putting in as much effort into their relationship as the other does. It is when the guy you’re dating wants to go over and beyond what he needs to do to be a good boyfriend because you deserve that. Everyone deserves that!
Sure, you need to love someone for their flaws but your problem is you want to change them. And you just can’t do that… No matter how much you love them and want things to work out. Even though, it’s always for the better.
And for a relationship to work you can’t want to change the person you love. You want to accept them and think that their flaws are what make them who they are. And they don’t take away from them, they only remind you that everyone is human.
You can’t think, “oh he has so much potential to be a good boyfriend I just have to teach him.” That won’t ever work. One, because you deserve a guy who knows how to be a good boyfriend and two, they will just end of taking advantage of you…
And you know that feeling too well. You know the moment you fall for them… The moment they have you under their spell and you end up stuck. You’re stuck in their, “we need help” trap and it only gets worse.
They start playing the, “oh poor me” card. As well as taking advantage of everything you do for them. It’s not a fair relationship anymore. You end up being the one giving everything, while they just take all they can get because they never had to give you back anything.
It’s hard to wake up and realize these are the type of guys you attract. You get angry at yourself and you end up even more heartbroken by a man who never deserved you. But you need to stop this cycle.
You need to stop trying to play doctor and start trying to find a man. A man who knows how special you are and how much you deserve. But you also need to find that within yourself.
You need to know that you deserve a man like that or all you will ever do is attract deadbeats. And trust me, it never turns out well with those guys. But knowing you’re worth and what you deserve is so important. It makes you strong, happy, comfortable being alone. And in the end, it helps you find the man you’ve always been looking for.
And guess what? You won’t even want to change him because he will already be perfect in your eyes.
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